Family Support for Older People

 Family systems are the foundation of our society. A family system consists of various individuals who are related by blood, marriage, or adoption. Family systems vary from culture to culture, but their importance remains the same. The role of family in caring for older people has become increasingly important due to demographic changes and the growing aging population. This essay explores the family system and how it can help our older people.

PICTURE: https://sanalake.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Family-Roles-in-Addiction-Treatment-.jpg

The family system refers to the various roles, relationships, and interactions that exist between members of a family. Family systems are important as they provide a sense of belonging, emotional support, and security. They also serve as a source of socialization, education, and values transmission. Family systems can have a significant impact on the physical, mental, and emotional health of their members.

The Importance of Older People 

Older people are an essential part of our society. They have contributed to our communities, economy, and culture throughout their lives. However, as they age, they may experience physical, mental, and emotional challenges. These challenges can lead to social isolation, loneliness, and poor health outcomes. It is, therefore, essential to ensure that older people have access to the care, support, and resources they need to age with dignity and respect.

Family System and Older People

The family system can play a vital role in supporting older people. Family members can provide emotional support, practical assistance, and social interaction that can improve the quality of life for older people. Family systems can also help older people maintain their independence, dignity, and sense of self-worth.

Emotional Support

Emotional support is essential for older people as they age. Family members can provide emotional support by being there to listen, provide encouragement, and offer reassurance. This emotional support can help older people cope with the challenges of aging, such as chronic illness, loss of mobility, and social isolation.

Practical Assistance

Older people may need practical assistance with daily activities such as cooking, cleaning, and shopping. Family members can provide this assistance, which can help older people maintain their independence and quality of life. Practical assistance can also prevent older people from having to move into residential care or assisted living facilities, which can be expensive and may not provide the same level of comfort and support as the family home.

Social Interaction

Social interaction is vital for older people as it can help prevent social isolation and loneliness. Family members can provide social interaction by visiting, taking older people out, and involving them in family activities. Social interaction can improve the mental and emotional health of older people and reduce the risk of depression and anxiety.

Maintaining Independence

Maintaining independence is essential for older people as it can help them maintain their sense of self-worth and dignity. Family members can help older people maintain their independence by providing practical assistance, emotional support, and social interaction. This support can help older people stay in their homes for longer, which can have a significant impact on their quality of life.

Challenges in Family System Support

While the family system can provide significant support for older people, there are also challenges that need to be addressed. These challenges include:

Family Conflicts

Family conflicts can arise due to differences in opinions, expectations, and values. These conflicts can make it difficult to provide effective support for older people, and may even lead to neglect or abuse. It is essential to address family conflicts and find ways to resolve them to ensure that older people receive the support they need.

Caregiver Burnout

Family members who provide care for older people may experience caregiver burnout. This burnout can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression, which can impact the quality of care provided. It is essential to provide support and resources to family caregivers to prevent burnout and ensure that older people receive required care and love. 

Financial Strain

Providing support for older people can be expensive, especially if they have significant health or mobility issues. Family members may need to provide financial assistance, which can strain their own finances. It is essential to plan for the financial costs of supporting older family members to ensure that everyone is prepared for the financial strain.

Distance

Family members may live far away from each other, making it challenging to provide support for older family members. Distance can limit the amount of practical assistance and social interaction that family members can provide. It is essential to find ways to overcome the distance barrier, such as through regular phone or video calls, or by arranging visits when possible.

Limited Resources

Some families may not have the resources to provide adequate support for older family members. This may be due to financial constraints, health issues, or other challenges. It is essential to identify available resources and support services that can help families provide the necessary support for older family members.

Conclusion

In conclusion, family systems can play a vital role in supporting older people. Emotional support, practical assistance, social interaction, and maintaining independence are all crucial elements of the support that family members can provide. However, there are also challenges that need to be addressed, such as family conflicts, caregiver burnout, financial strain, distance, and limited resources. It is essential to find ways to overcome these challenges and provide the necessary support to ensure that older people age with dignity and respect. The family system remains an essential component of our society, and we must continue to value and support it in caring for our aging population.

Humans of Dementia - Asha

 A1Snehanjali assisted living elder care home, project of Silver Innings employs several people, both men and women, as full-time caretakers for Persons with Alzheimer’s. Many of those employees work a morning to evening shift and return home, which is possible since they are local residents who have access to intra-city travel. However, many other employees come to work at the A1Snehanjali centre from nearby or far-off villages, which makes it difficult for them to travel to and fro their village every day. Thus, the organisation arranges for these employees to stay at the A1Snehanjali centre itself. While most of these employees tend to be male, there are also some female employees who stay at the centre. One such employee is Asha, a 30-year-old woman who came to work at the A1Snehanjali centre from a nearby Tribal village called Vikramgarh, District Palghar. 

Vikramgarh is a remote area where the job opportunities are at a bare minimum. The major work that the community of that village performs is that of farming and other agricultural jobs. However, those jobs are seasonal and heavily dependent on the climate, which means that if it doesn’t rain enough one year, the families in the village don’t earn enough to survive. Therefore, Asha decided to venture out of the village to explore stable job opportunities in the city. This is when she came across A1Snehanjali and began working for them as a resident employee.

Before she came to A1Snehanjali, she didn’t know what Alzheimer’s disease was. Once Asha came to the centre, she learnt about the disease and what is required from her as a caretaker person with Alzheimer’s. Coming from a community that lives in a remote area, the awareness about such diseases was, and still is, extremely minimal. Even as she works here, her family and friends back home aren’t fully aware about the disease. Nonetheless, they know that Asha’s work comprises of taking care of elder people, and so they continue to give Asha their blessings for doing this good work. Along with her relatives, Asha also feels happy in the work she does and finds it worthwhile to take care of the elders with dementia. 

Asha lost her husband few years ago and has 6 years old girl child, she worries about her child future and needs to work. Asha being mother and being compassionate towards her parents, helps her to care for Elders. She is Team member and works with her colleagues to make the center a better home stay for person with dementia. Her creativity with Rangoli and smile brings joy for all.   

At the A1Snehanjali centre, Asha’s duties include changing the diapers of the patients, sometime making them food and feeding them, giving the resident their medicines at the respective times as well as cleaning and grooming them on a daily basis. As a caretaker, she is essentially responsible for the day-to-day activity living of the residents since she assists them in almost every task they do every single day. However, she doesn’t mind the work since there aren’t any major problems or challenges she faces. Instead, Asha finds that everything runs quite smoothly every day at the A1Snehanjali centre with support from management, making it easier and happier for both the patients and the caretakers.

By Vansh Tibrewal

Visit Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/HumansofDementia 

Instagarm Page: https://www.instagram.com/sihumansofdementia/

#Silverinnings #HumansofDementia #dementia #Alzheimer #humanity #HumanityFirst #love #family #Instagram #A1Snehanjali #Relationship #Caregiver #Caregiving #Humans #Humanity #Caregiving #CarePartners #Touch #care #Smile 

World Elder Abuse Awareness Day 2020 Report

This year due to Corona Lockdown, WEAAD could not happen on ground, but we tried Innovative ONLINE Global event.

It was one of most successful event, hundreds of people of different age group, across globe from different country - India, Nepal, Africa, Australia, USA, South America, Europe participated with enthusiasm in this unique Online event, Posing with Purple Dot, creating awareness and raising voice against Elder Abuse. They posted Photo's with Purple Dot on all Social Media Platform including - Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, WhatsApp, ,Linkedin.

On occasion of 'World Elder Abuse Awareness Day' on 15th June 2020, INPEA in association with GAROP and Silver Innings seeks Support of all age group and gender to create awareness about elder abuse and it's prevention.

How did this happen ?  Our INPEA active member Sailesh Mishra from India who is social media expert came with idea to involve all age and gender people across globe with mass reach out, the whole program revolved around Two Hastag #StandWithOlderPersons AND #PurpleDotChallenge. Susan Somers - Inpea President and Ellen Graham- Secretariat Coordinator of Global Alliance for the Rights of Older People, approved the idea with deliberation. 

A hashtag, is sign #, is a type of metadata tag used on social networks such as Twitter and Instagram and other microblogging services. It lets users apply dynamic, user-generated tagging that helps other users easily find messages with a specific theme or content.

Some of photo's and images have been captured by Google search:

https://www.google.com/search?q=%23PurpleDotChallenge&safe=active&rlz=1C1CHBD_enIN874IN874&sxsrf=ALeKk00S8WnfZ0p5gJmVHe9Tgx8Fv5rdWQ:1603339916100&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjP0JzRqsfsAhVDzjgGHY1_BeUQ_AUoA3oECAQQBQ&biw=1366&bih=625

\

Please find below content and image that was used for successful Program: 

  

We #StandWithOlderPersons and accept #PurpleDotChallenge to raise Awareness and Prevention of Elder Abuse.

On occasion of 'World Elder Abuse Awareness Day' on 15th June 2020, INPEA in association with GAROP and Silver Innings seeks Support of all age group and gender to create awareness about elder abuse and it's prevention.

INPEA wants social media users to post a picture of a #PurpleDot on their palm or any other place or paper and express their thoughts about Elder Abuse, Awareness, Stigma and Prevention.

INPEA has created a separate hash tag #StandWithOlderPersons to take a strong stand on Elders issues. Accept the Purple Dot Challenge and post it on your social media handles with hash tag #StandWithOlderPersons and #PurpleDotChallange

So friends let’s #StandWithOlderPersons and send your Purple dot challenge pictures with your thoughts on our / post social media accounts like Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram or Twitter.

This Challenge is open from 1st June to 30th June. 

We will also post your support on our all social media accounts.

You can also forward us your pictures through E-mail at silverinnings@gmail.com or WhatsApp on 91+ 9987104.....

Creative Support by Web Solutions India.

Thanks to all for your support 

STRUGGLE WITH LOSS OF MEMORY By Shivangi

Imagine not knowing who you are. Not being able to recollect and recognize your own life.
If a person starts to question his own Identity and is unable to answer the basic questions that forms the basis of who he is, not knowing his name, where he comes from and not knowing the people in his family, that in itself it a scary situation.

Courtesy https://blogs.psychcentral.com/

Dementia is a symptom that decreases the cognitive function of the brain and interferes with the daily routine of a person. But again it is a symptom, which might be due to many diseases. The most known disease which leads to dementia is Alzheimer’s disease. It contributes to 60-80% cases of dementia.

In India, forgetfulness is deemed as a part of aging and it is true to some extent. Old age comes with a general decrease in overall heath and not just loss of memory. This becomes a reason for delayed diagnosis of a disease like Alzheimer’s. There is no cure for such a disease so far but early diagnosis can be very helpful in the management of the patient and the family’s outlook towards their situation. Dementia is not just a difficult situation faced by the person suffering from it but it is also very difficult for the family as it is hard to understand how a person who was fine a while ago is now deteriorating like this. No one except the person suffering can understand what it feels like to lose a part of yourself every day and to be unable to explain it.

India is ranked 2nd in terms of people suffering from Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia; with an estimated figure of 4.1 million. It is expected to double by 2035 according to The Alzheimer’s and Related Disorders Society of India.

Awareness about this issue is important as 6 in 10 people suffering from Dementia wander into the streets alone and cannot find their way back home. Depending upon the age and stage of dementia of the person, it is hard for them to remember even their own name, address or any relevant information that could help them find their way back . In India, only 1/10th of the total missing elderly folks are ever found. Even the ones who are found have a high chance of having sustained major injuries and being in a bad shape due to many factors including their own age.

If I were to have a positive outlook in this situation, then I would refer to the story of a 94 year old woman named Panchubai Tejpal Shingane who was reunited with her family in May, 2020 after 41 years. She was from Amravti district of  Maharashtra and lost her way in 1979. She couldn’t recall anything about herself. With the help of some kind people who took care of her, she was able to survive all these years and finally reunite with her family. The kind of pain and torture it would have caused to the family of Panchubai to have lost her like this is unimaginable.

My grandfather suffered from Alzheimer’s and seeing him deteriorate from a strong man to someone who could not even recognize members of his own family or recollect their names, was painful. He didn’t know who I was and confused me for his daughter. Unfortunately, in September of 2016 he wandered out of the house. Even though we took all kinds of possible precautions and yet something fell short. He went missing for 24 hours and I was not aware of this for more than 12 hours as I was not in town and my parents didn’t want me to be worried as I could do nothing. From the time that I came to know about this, the thought that crossed my mind, haunting me, was that what if I don’t get to see him again and it was heartbreaking. Those 24 hours were equally and more devastating for everyone in the family. He was found in the ER of a hospital. He had sustained major injuries including a broken hip but thankfully we found him. Few months later, he breathed his last in February, 2017. I believe the few months we got to spend with him were a blessing in disguise and I am grateful for that. It pains me to think that for one entire night nobody, in a place as busy as Delhi, noticed him or tried to help him.

I would request everyone to keep an open mind and not ignore someone in need of help. There are so many such cases in the world and we need to pay more attention towards these cases. Be kind.

Even today in India there is no centralized support system for people suffering from dementia. With such an alarming increase in these cases, such a system is highly needed along with the necessity of awareness about this disease and such situations.

As a human being, I feel it is very important to be compassionate towards the weaker sections of the society, especially the elderly in this case.

By Shivangi - Introspection: Looking Within Us

Source: http://shivangisharan.blogspot.com/2020/07/struggle-with-loss-of-memory.html?m=1

How to Help Senior citizens during Lock-down for Corona Virus ?

How you can Help #Seniorcitizens during Lockdown for Corona Virus ? 

A guide by #Silverinnings for Pan India

Senior citizens 60 plus are vulnerable to viral attack due to low immunity and underline Health condition like Diabetes, Cardiac, Vascular etc, due to this they will be homebound.

Senior citizens might not be in condition to move out or have mobility issues.

So we as responsible citizens, as Community can come together and give helping hand to our Elders.



Following are some ways you can help Senior citizens:

No need to think big

Form small local groups, in your housing society or locality / community of like minded people

Find out Where are these Senior staying ? Are they with family or alone ?

Try to find out what they need - cooked food, ration, finance, medicines, drinking water, health checkup, utility services like paying bills, banking, counseling, sanitizer, mask, house help, plumbing, electrician, Internet, email, spiritual, entertainment, recreation, communication, tax payment, repair, companion, help for pet etc

Some might just need a phone call sometime, someone to chat with

Divide responsibility / task among your group members

Arrange for resources like money, team members, grocery shop, vehicle etc

When you go and visit any Senior do remember you wear protective gear for Corona like Mask, gloves, sanitizer

They might get bored up staying home - for this evolve some meaningful activities - learning new skills, reading, music, yoga, fitness etc

Try to give a ID or badge to each of your member - for security reason

After providing the required service, do a follow up visit, if they are happy or if they need something more

Keep record of your Team members and Seniors you have enrolled

You may also contact a local NGO for more outreach or help

You may contact your housing society committee and Senior citizens association in your area

It will be good to take help from government authorities like Municipal corporation and Police

Your small act of kindness will save our elders, and will add Life to their years.

One day we all will grow old.

Let's together fight and defeat Corona.

Let's spread love for humanity .

For more information write to silverinnings@gmail.com

Please do share if you feel so

#CoronaWarriors

Published on Social Media on 22nd March 2020 

The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens (Amendment) Bill, 2019 approved by Cabinet

The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens (Amendment) Bill, 2019 has been approved by Indian government Cabinet on 4th Dec 2019, it provides basic needs, safety and security to senior citizens.


SILVER INNINGS CLARIFICATION: To all our Friends, Senior Citizens, Family members, NGO's, Media, Activist and others, The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens (Amendment) Bill, 2019, is NOT ONLY ABOUT MAINTENANCE.

First we Thank Government of India CABINET for taking this important step.

Helpage India, Tata Trust, AISCCON, Silver Inning Foundation, Moneylife Foundation and other organisations had given suggestions and lobbied for amendment to 2007 act.

Please note the new amendment needs to be PASSED in Parliament,yesterday 4th Dec 2019 decision is only Cabinet decision.

There are many important aspect to this Bill, which is first time or more important as following:

“(i) Definition of ‘children’ and ‘parents’ has been expanded. Expanding the definition of children, which currently refers to only biological children and grandchildren, to include daughter-in-law and son-in-law, and also adopted and/or stepchildren.

(ii) Definition of ‘maintenance’ and ‘welfare’ has been expanded. Definition of maintenance beyond merely the provision of food, clothing, housing, and healthcare, and to include “safety and security” of the parent.

(iii) Mode of submission of application for maintenance has been enlarged.

(iv) Ceiling of Rs 10,000/- as maintenance amount has been removed.

(v) Preference to dispose of applications of senior citizens, above eighty years of age, early has been included.

(vi) Registration of Senior Citizens Care Homes/Homecare Service Agencies etc. have been included.

(vii) Minimum standards for senior citizen care homes has been included in the Bill.

(viii) Appointment of Nodal Police Officers for Senior Citizens in every Police Station and District level Special Police Unit for Senior Citizens has been included.

(ix) Maintenance of Helpline for senior citizens has been included.”


One request please wait for final bill after its passed ion parliament.

PLEASE SPREAD THE RIGHT MESSAGE

Thanks.

Sailesh Mishra

Missing Senior Citizens - NCRB Report 2017

Shocking Report of Missing Senior Citizens by National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) 2017, released in Oct 2019 . 

There has been growing incident of Senior Citizens Missing in last many years, Seniors either leave their home on their own, they get lost in crowded or unfamiliar places or get lost due to Dementia /  Alzheimer - in this case they forget / unable to recall their names, relatives, address etc.

Its extremely difficult to trace Missing Senior Citizens due to lack of proper tracking system and also due to apathy from all stakeholders. 

Organisation like Silver Innings - through their Facebook page and Blog 'Missing Senior Citizens Alert' and 'WhatsApp group' and HelpAge India are doing remarkable work in Finding Missing Senior Citizens, government effort is very less, government effort in missing children and women is more. 

National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) 2017 Missing report as per TABLE 15.3, Missing and Traced Persons (Gender & Age-wise) - 2017, highlights the concern.

It is found that Male Senior Citizens are more in numbers in list of getting Missing then Female Senior Citizens, but tracing Female Senior Citizens percentage is higher then Male.  

We need to protect our Elders getting lost and also need to device national tracking program. Families also need to take extra care and Police needs to be sensitized. 

Following are details of above report by Government agency - NCRB 2017.

Total Senior Citizens Missing (60plus) 
Un recovered Persons of Previous years - 20272
Persons Missing during 2017 - 12805
Total Missing -  33077

Persons Traced : 
from Previous years Missing -  6392
from Missing Persons - 2017 - 7028
Total Traced -  13420
% of Persons Traced - 40.6


Person Untraced : 
from Previous years Missing - 13880
from Missing Persons - 2017 - 5777
Total unTraced  - 19657
% of Persons unTraced - 59.4




60 Yrs & Above - (Male Sr. Citizen) 
Un recovered Persons of Previous years - 13,893
Persons Missing during 2017 - 8802
Total Missing - 22,695 

Male Senior Citizen Traced: 
from Previous years Missing - 4302
from Missing Persons - 2017 - 4689
Total Traced - 8991 
% of Persons Traced - 39.6

Male Senior Citizen Untraced 
from Previous years Missing - 9591
from Missing Persons - 2017 - 4113
Total unTraced  - 13704
% of Persons unTraced - 60.4




60 Yrs & Above (Female Sr. Citizen)

Un recovered Persons of Previous years - 6379
Persons Missing during 2017 - 3985
Total Missing -  10364

Female Senior Citizen Traced: 
from Previous years Missing - 2090
from Missing Persons - 2017 - 2326
Total Traced -  4416
% of Persons Traced - 42.6


Female Senior Citizen Untraced :
from Previous years Missing - 4289
from Missing Persons - 2017 - 1659
Total unTraced  - 5948
% of Persons unTraced - 57.4



This Report is made by SILVER INNING FOUNDATION - 26th Oct 2019

Budget 2019: Senior Citizens expectation

The citizens, who have crossed the age of 60 years are described variously as ‘senior citizens’, ‘elderly’ and ‘aged’. The population of this segment has increased steadily since 1950. The Census of India 2001 enumerated approximately 7.6 crore senior citizens in India, which has increased to 10.4 crore in 2011. As per the report of UNFPA , this number is expected to grow to 17.3 crore by 2025 and about 24 crore by 2050.

The population share of senior citizens will increase from 8 percent in 2015 to 19 percent in 2050 and it is expected that by the end of the century, senior citizens will constitute nearly 34 percent of the total population of the country. This ageing phenomenon is all set to replace the ‘youth bulge’ that India is currently experiencing with an ‘aging society’.

The United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) 2017 observed that “the relatively young India of today will turn into a rapidly ageing society in coming decades.”

Prime Minister Narendra Modi says "Today, if we are able to work so rapidly to create a new India, it is because of the foundation our senior citizens laid. The value and wisdom of our senior citizens
are important for us. We have given top most focus for dignity, financial security and well-being of our senior citizens". 


Our Senior Citizens have expectation for our current NAMO 2.0 / NDA Government, we have this June 2019 government will accept our following demand:  


Exempt 18% GST on Residential or Non Residential Elder and Disable Care Service : 18% GST for Elder CARE services & accommodation under heading no. 9993, GST Service Code 99932, GST code 999321, GST service no. 999322. In old age and for person with disability; health care, shelter and related services are great support not only for the person but also for the families. Request to please HELP 105 million Senior Citizens and their families by exempting on above GST.

Increase Full Tax rebate for all Senior Citizens upto Rs. 8 Lakh and for 80plus upto Rs. 10 lakh

Increase Interest rates on 'Senior Citizens Savings Scheme 2004'

Increase NSAP Indira Gandhi National Old Age Pension Scheme (IGNOAPS) from Rs. 200/- to Rs. 3000/- for all BPL Senior Citizens

Start Universal Pension of Rs. 3000/- for all 80 plus

NO TDS for Senior citizens for earning upto Rs. 10 Lakh.

Comprehensive dedicated Health Insurance : 
The cost of the health care during old age appears to be very high and this in turn increases the out of pocket expenditure on health care particularly when private facilities are availed of. When older persons are economically dependent, increasing health expenditure adds to the economic burden on the family. Request to have dedicated Health Insurance for all 60 plus and tax subsidy increase for children who are looking after their sick old parents or grandparents.

Increase in IT Deduction for medical expenditure: 
As there high rise in medical and heath care cost in old age, we request Increase the limit of deduction for medical expenditure in respect of certain critical illness to 3 lakh in respect of all senior citizens, under section 80DDB.

Senior Citizens Welfare Fund : In pursuance of the announcement made in the Budget Speech of Finance Minister – 2015-16, a Senior Citizens' Welfare Fund was established in March 2016. The fund consists of the unclaimed amounts transferred by government institutions holding such
funds. We need government input on this, what has happened to this fund and where its being utilized and from where resources are being sourced.

Introduce mandatory 10% spending for companies, exclusive for 60plus welfare for all CSR program

Give 10 year Tax Holiday for all Startup new or existing working exclusive for Senior Citizens

Give Tax rebate to children who are looking after their depended 60 plus parents

Sailesh Mishra

Founder President - Silver Innings Group 

http://silverinnings.in/ 

Tata Trusts REPORT ON OLD AGE FACILITIES IN INDIA 2018

Don't miss this Eye Opener: Tata Trusts REPORT ON OLD AGE FACILITIES IN INDIA : INDIA has ONLY around 1,150 facilities FOR around 97,000 elderly: This is what we at #Silverinnings  have been saying all this while of lack of facilities and services for Senior Citizens in India.

The study looked at both old age homes and senior living developments in India, built an extensive sample set of 480+ old age homes and 60+ senior living developments in 84 cities, towns and districts cutting across geographies, size, cost, facilities offered, ownership and management.

It projected the sample set to countrywide population data extracted from 2011 census of India, and arrived at an estimate of around 1,150 facilities and the capacity to house around 97,000 elderly residents.

Forecasting likely demand driven by increasing elderly population and change in preferences owing to availability of new products and socio-economic norms, the study pointed towards a crying need to enhance the capacity almost eight to ten-fold over the next decade.

http://tatatrusts.org/upload/pdf/report-on-old-age-facilities-in-india.pdf

You are 60 plus and your children's are in another country / city, Will you relocate ?

On July 5th 2018 we posted this important question on Facebook and we got various comments, which we thought are not only interesting but also shows change in mindset of traditional Indian / Asian Ageing population.

The Question we asked:  

You are 60 plus and your children's are in another country / city, they can't come and stay with you, But they ask you to come and settle with them, What will you do ?

Following Comments / Answers we got: 
Susan Dmello Barton or just maybe your kids who are abroad can find solutions and caregivers in YOUR OWN HOME IN India... they financially stand by you and visit often so win win for all.

Nidhi Raj Kapoor Good question and great conversation here. You should do a study and compile the findings. I would love to hear more.

Rajeshwar Devarakonda Sailesh Mishra Apt question. In my case, the child - me, relocated. I tried and then understood that the parents too have their social life and to expect them to make yet another sacrifice and become yet another object in your house is inhuman.



Sailesh Mishra I posted above question as this is one of most discussed among seniors. But I never thought, next day I will get this sad news... Like one of the answer when you try to relocate a Senior..... So this is new: USA woman, 92, kills son to avoid being sent into care home : https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44707643

Vanita Kumta This is where having a heart to heart conversation and abstaining from imposing ones point of view over another could perhaps have been helpful to avoid a sad incident.

Bernadette Ferrer Sailesh Mishra, the article reported is an isolated incident. The mindset of US white folks are Selfish and Narcissistic. Do not Ever compare with their mindset with ANY ASIAN whose embedded culture revolves around family!
Second, the SON who was shot by his mother Did Not RESPECT his own mother's wishes to Stay Home. The Sons was Enabled by HIS family members & Girlfriend to FORCE his own mother to leave her comfort zone. Alternative solutions for his mothers5care exists...PAY FOR 24 HOUR Nurse or Caregivers!
Son was a Lemming!
I truly Suspect that the SON and Family members had a Hidden Financial Agenda.
Sailesh Mishra, you're seasoned enough to Discern cultural Mindsets!




Asha Uberoy No body wants to go and live in another country at this age. And remember a father can look after 10 kids. But 10 kids find it difficult to look after one father. It is the law of life. The water in the river keeps flowing forward. We must not, cannot blame our children or anyone else.
Bhavdeep Pandya We can always create ability to change.. greatest issue is people only change by force.
Bhavdeep Pandya I will go.. I am nearing 70 years


Vanita Kumta Firstly if one feels one can adjust to a new country at the age one has reached it is a good option,secondly one must have trust and faith in them only then,thirdly as long as one feels able to take care of ones needs independently it is worthwhile staying put,or resorting to assistance or joining an assisted living facility or a senior citizens home that suits ones needs financially. Most importantly one needs to keep on going on as far as possible,with a positive outlook and not succumb to the growing pressures around. It is a difficult situation and a level headed choice is necessary. Remaining as active as possible,without stretching out ones hands in desperation,yet asking and taking help when needed is imperative.

Vanita Kumta From real life instances I have seen ,I know seniors who have no children and lose their partner,I have also seen seniors who have children often living in India in the same city,yet at the crucial hour they are not in a position to reach out to their aged parents due to official engagements. All said and done life is unpredictable. It does not follow any book. One needs to actively accept everything 100% however unpleasant . Having said that it is necessary to have a plan of action worked out between the couple whilst they are both living,taking the children too into confidence. The problem more often than nought is that communication and discussion on certain unpleasant ,however obvious realities of life is often lacking or postponed for later. But unfortunately, ' Time And Tide Waits For No Man'.
Mohan Siroya Very sane advice.


Bina Umesh Raj Sharma I feel if at this age you can adjust and mentally prepated then one should go and stay with the children in India/abroad. The children will also be comfortable since the whole family is a one place unless they have an ulterior motive.


Bernadette Ferrer Your choice: Stubborn Self Independence versus You live by Their Rules of Their Home (Tables are turned..as children, they lived by Your Rules. As an elder parent, its pay back time ...hee heee)

Aileen Marques It will depend on what i feel, how I feel and why I feel... In terms of the choice of settling in a New place. In most cases i have handled senior citizens preferred the comfort of their house and neighbourhood in their silver years. they said they feel the urge to live life more independently.
Susan Dmello Barton I totally agree... the kids are always welcome to "visit" Also in this day and age you can monitor everything what with c.f. tv cameras and full time police cleared maids and home help... they enjoy their independence AND you are always welcome for visits and holidays etc... let's not take away their dignity.

Niraj Khedkar Something outside the question asked... With all due respect to all senior citizens:
Point is not who leaves his set life... Each life is earned with lot of effort... Kids aswell as parents... But Problem is something else...in India parents are so much emotional that they can't let there kids choose their life after 16/18yrs and accept it or not... Hence majority of parents never plan for their post retirement life... 
I am sure this generation already knows their kids are not going to take care of them... So they have already started saving and planning for post retirement life...
#healthyAging #postretirementplanning
#OnestopSolutionServices for all senior citizen needs Can be few solutions for such challenges


Mohit Sadh Just go ther for some time n check, if it's worth, otherwise come back n live here happily ever after


Aditi Misra Interesting responses! 
I think for me it’ll depend on a lot of things... my health / my finances/ my spouse!


Aseem Chandawarkar On Children
- Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, 
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, 
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, 
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, 
and He bends you with His might 
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, 
so He loves also the bow that is stable.


Umesh Gujjar Better to be in India with our Loved ones, even if one earns less (as compared to foreign earnings)


Niraj Khedkar Yes that action speaks a lot... No senior citizen wants to willingly go in a care home...


Doris Gomes I will go n spent sone time, esp because of my small grand kids...


वरिष्ठ नागरिक सेवा संस्थान It is difficult for parents to shift .

Ashok Maheshwari Never. I am Hindustani and at 80 crossed, I want to spend my allotted time in my own country.


Dileep Lad I will stay in My country. I am proud of my country भारत माता की जय

Adv Vidya Patil Very much right


Puneet Sunita Khurana I'd ask them to F... off!


Bhavdeep Pandya I will go n settle with my children


Amita Rs What about in olden days when people relocated from villages to town in search of better life? How did those older adults feel then when their children left them and the big farming lands behind for city jobs? Only some things have changed but rest of the issues remain same.


CA Hemant Damodar Mehta One has to choose with balanced mind .. to be useful to Society here in India or to spend life with son/daughter abroad depending your physical capacity and health.


We thank all for their views and opinion, this will help us to plan our Future.

Visit our website:  http://silverinnings.in/