Its just shocking, horrifying , sad !!!!!!! What is this world ? does the person in her silver innings needs this form of abuse , STOP ELDER ABUSE.
Read this horrific ordeal:
“IT was every South African woman’s nightmare,” a shaken, yet defiant, Nelson Mandela Bay grandmother said this week, describing an horrific ordeal during which she was raped and brutalised in her retirement cottage.
In an exclusive interview with Weekend Post, the brave, still badly bruised 84-year-old who survived the terrifying rape and assault only to have to wait in fear after an apprehended suspect escaped from police custody, told of the full horror of the attack saying she needed to talk about it because she did not want to be scared and bitter over what happened to her.
The still disorientated and shaken grandmother, who has made a resolute effort to shake off the “awful” events of the early hours of Friday, October 30, said she wanted to set the record straight, commend the police on their tireless work and thank her family, Life St George’s hospital and the community for their care and support.
“I’m not hiding anything that happened because it will only make me bitter and frightened. I don’t want to hold that inside me,” said the feisty octogenarian.
“I’m talking about how I feel because there is no use in keeping it inside. Each time I talk about (the rape and assault), it becomes a bit easier.”
Sitting in the lounge of her cosy one-bedroomed cottage near Walmer Park Shopping Centre, the former Uitenhage Hospital casualty nurse spoke candidly about the wounds – emotional and physical – her alleged attacker, Frankie Louwskieter, inflicted on her the night of the barbaric attack, the same day as her granddaughter’s birthday.
“This is every South African woman’s nightmare.
“There is no explanation for why he had to rape me,” she said, her head bruised, with purple clots running down her neck, and with other parts of her body still bearing the painful reminder of when crime – South African-style – came visiting.
Asked to recount her emotions on the night of the attack, she said she really thought she was going to die.
“When I came to my senses (about what was happening), I just said to myself, I’m going to do everything he tells me to do. I just shut off and went into survival mode.”
She said the suspect never spoke, but just “communicated by waving his knife”.
The assailant, who gained access to the woman’s home through a window by forcing open the burglar bars, bound and gagged her before stabbing her in the leg. She said he then raped and sodomised her, before locking her in her bedroom, returning a short while later to steal the watch from her wrist.
“It’s a travesty that one person’s evil actions can destroy faith in humanity and it’s sad that it takes something like this to bring people together.”
The mother of three, who has declined to be named, said she was at a loss when it came to the level of violence ingrained in the South African psyche.
She said although she could understand the need to steal to survive, she could not comprehend the level of anger that came with it.
“Why do you need to de-humanise another human being?” she asked. “What does a (alleged) 27-year-old criminal want to do by raping an old woman?”
While asking herself these “unanswerable” questions and dealing with post-traumatic fears, she is set on rebuilding her life. She said thanks to the support of her “absolutely exceptional” family, she felt this was possible.
The victim’s family, including her prominent state advocate grandson-in-law, has been around her 24 hours a day as she first dealt with returning home to the scene of the crime at Winston Churchill Moth Cottages complex, identifying stolen items at the police station and undergoing counselling.
She said she could not yet bring herself to sleep in her bedroom, but that her daughter who lives in the Bay was staying with her.
The victim said after her assailant had left her cottage, she couldn’t find her cellphone which he had taken, and when she got to her land-line she couldn’t remember any numbers. “If there’s one piece of advice I can give, it’s how important it is to remember just one number. The age of cellphones makes us forget how important it is to know people’s numbers.”
After that, adrenalin shot through her and she managed to drag herself outside and alert her neighbours.
Her greatest fear at that moment was that he was coming back to kill her, “finished and klaar”. Now her fear is seeing the suspect again. “I just don’t want to face him.”
Her main priority, apart from recovering and moving past the rape and attack, was making sure the police were commended.
“I don’t think I have the words to say how thankful I am to the police. I don’t want one mistake to blemish their work,” she said, referring to the arrest, escape and recapture of Louwskieter last week.
“One mistake can’t detract from the excellent work the police have done.”
She said Captain Elroy Lindoor and Inspectors Rudolph Baxter and Kelvin Swartbooi all gave up hours of their time – not even returning home to their families – to do forensics, follow leads and track down the suspect.
Even after her horrific ordeal, the victim is more deeply concerned about other victims of South Africa’s “endemic” rape situation.
“I am an old woman who has had a good life, a fabulous husband, fantastic children and grandchildren. I look in the paper and see young people who have been raped and my heart breaks for them because they have their whole lives ahead of them to deal with that.”
Her son, who flew from Australia to be at his mother’s side, was supportive of his mother and in awe of her strength. “She underestimates her resilience,” he said.
The body corporate of Moth cottages has said it will upgrade its security.
Louwskieter, who was refused bail when he appeared in court a week ago on charges of rape, robbery and housebreaking with intent to rob, will appear in court again on Monday.
A song from Hindi film ‘Baghban’ says, “I am here , you are there, but where is life ?” But, can we experience the emotional pain embodied in this song? No, we can not. Similar emotion is also expressed in another Hindi Film by name ‘Avtar’, starring Rajesh Khanna and Shabana Azmi. There is a lot of similarity between the two films, because it is only when a person is at the altar of old age then only he/she has to face such incidents which no longer are stand-alone incidents but are a series of incidents which one has to face. Helplessness and frustration of individuals is what is depicted in these two films. I am writing this today is because 1st October is ‘World Elders Day’. This day is celebrated in honour of elders throughout the world. Some time back, well known actress and Member of Parliament, Hema Malini had inaugurated an Old Age Home. She said and hoped that this Old Age Home should remain active and energetic at all times. There was a big issue raised on her statement. But keeping these issues aside, we should think about these elders who have to look to the Old Age Homes for various reasons … One such reason being cruel /abusive behavior of the family members with the elders. We can never understand the deep wounds of the elderly hearts as a result of such behaviors within and by the family members! Let us ask ourselves, ‘What happens to such wounded elder‘. Elders in the family, our parents - when they struggle to bring up their children, their expectation from their children are bound to go up. Is it correct to use the word expectation? No, it is not correct to use the word expectation. It is the children’s duty and moral responsibility to look after the elders; because it is the parents who brought their children up. The mother offers you a glass of water, whether you are coming from school to home or from office to home. It is taken for granted that when Papa comes home from office, he will definitely bring chocolates for his children. This is not only expectation but confidence, in the fact that parents being parents will perform their duties without- anybody having to tell them. Why are we lagging behind to gain the confidence of our elders who are at the altar of their old age? Many times, our children who are apple of our eyes turn out to be counterfeit coins.
Presently, a T-V channel is showing promos of a serial entitled, ‘Basera’. You will also realize the intensity of helplessness of the elders after seeing the serial. Perhaps, you might have seen it. But, in our society, there are organizations helping elders to not only live their lives but also enjoy it. In Mumbai, an organization known as ‘Silver Inning Foundation’ is established for the same purpose. This foundation I like a walking stick for the elders. ‘Silver Inning’ is not an old age ashram, but is an organization which works for the elders. This organization helps elders in difficulty. It may be either at an old age Home or your own home. ‘Silver Inning Foundation’ also helps elders by helping them realize their talents. For instance, they organize a talent show called ‘Umang’ for the elders. The purpose of this show is not competition, but it is a search for talents which elders may not be aware that they possess such talents and also to showcase the talents to the society at large. The attempt is to bring innocent smiles on the face of the elders for a couple of hours or so by making them happier through entertainment. In such programmes, elders are encouraged to present their poems, bring out their hidden talents by presenting laughter shows, mimicry, one act-play, miming, solo song or group song, street play etc. In addition, a ‘Silver Innings celebrity of the month’ for the month is also selected. Persons over the age of 50 participate in such programmes. Fees charged for such programmers are very nominal. Elders experiencing difficult days like summer in their life enjoy the showers of laughter through the medium of ‘Umang’. Different games are organized to entertain and make the elders happy. Elders display their talent in such a way that we realize the fact that they are in no way less enthusiastic than the young. By Participating in ‘Umang’, the elders forget their mental ad physical worries. It is everybody’s privilege to be happy.
Mr. Sailesh Mishra, who is the founder of ‘Silver Inning Foundation’ says, “I belong to the corporate sector. I used to participate in a number of social programmes. During this time, I realized that the Government has a number of programmes for children and women; for the poor and alcoholics, but there were either no or very few programmes for the elderly and as such they were neglected. The elderly were generally neglected unseen and disrespected. I therefore, felt that elders need our as well as government’s attention. There are so many instances that we hear where elders are harassed for small issues or issues relating to even property. Elders should be encouraged to express out their feeling of repression. I am against Old age homes as a policy or as an alternative. The Govt. thinks, by providing old age homes , their responsibility towards elders is over. But this is not a solution.
When we talk about elders, it is not enough to talk only about elders living in elders homes we should also think about elders undergoing lots of difficulties while staying with their own children. Many times elders feel suffocated while staying in their own families. They are beset by illnesses. They need us the most during such periods. Nothing is gained by just erecting four walls for them to stay. I do not intend to blame the youth, because about 50% + of youth in the society is around 25 years of age and also many are Silver Inning members. It must be understood that problems arise due to generation gap. As far as possible we should make all efforts to help the elders. With the assistance of psychiatrists, consultants, counselors, help-lines, seminars and also through education or awareness programmes through schools and colleges, efforts are made so that problems faced by elders are appreciated. Elders, who are suffering from Alzheimer disease or dementia, need timely attention, treatment, our good wishes and love and care. It is true that right from childhood, we want our children to adopt western culture. But when we enter our “Silver Innings”, we expect them to adopt our own culture. This is the real problem. Responsibilities of the parents, understanding of the children, our religion and culture all these are important to understand the nature of the real problem. If all the above factors are understood well and coordinated, then instances of parents separating from their children would be reduced considerably. There are about 90 million elders in our country. We and the Govt., owe a responsibility towards them and we must fulfill this responsibility.
There are some famous poems –which say that even amidst our other problems, we should never forget our father & mother. There is also another story – mythological one – which says that Lord Ganesh instead of going round the earth, selected to go around his parents – Shiva and Parvati. In these instances, there is definitely some meaning which all of us should absorb and we need to think that it does not matter whether we rest in heaven or not. Why can’t our elders sing happily and enjoy to remember their younger days, when they used to struggle to keep their families happy ?
English Translation of article in Gujarati by –Ms. Hetal Bhatt for Aar Par magazine
Reporting in the Nov. 1 issue of the journal Sleep, Finnish scientists say the prevalence of sleep disturbances drops sharply after retirement.
This suggests that tossing and turning results from work-related demands and stress, the researchers say. Retirement has health benefits, they argue, but sleep may improve because stress declines.
However, "in countries and positions where there is no proper pension level to guarantee financial security beyond working age ... retirement may be followed by severe stress, disturbing sleep even more than before retirement," says study researcher Jussi Vahtera, MD, PhD, of the University of Turku in Finland, in a news release.
The researchers analyzed records of employees from the French national gas and electricity company, Electricite de France-Gaz de France, who retired between 1990 and 2006. Employees benefited from a retirement pension of 80% of their salary. Data were analyzed from 11,581 male workers and 3,133 female workers who reported sleep disturbances at least once before and once after the year of retirement. Among the study participants, 72% had retired by age 55 and 99% by 60.
Annual surveys were done ranging from seven years before retirement to seven years after. Participants answered questions about health, lifestyle, individual, familial, social, and occupational issues. The company also collected data on occupational and health data.
Results indicate sleep disturbances increase slowly with age, and researchers say this is evident both before and after retirement. However the overall levels of sleep disturbances were lower after retirement.
Before retirement, the researchers write that 22%-24% of participants reported sleep disturbance in any year, but that decreased to 17.8% in the first year after retirement. Although it increased to 19.7% in the seventh year after retirement, the percentage stayed lower than before retirement of the study period.
The only exception to the improved sleep after retirement was related to the 4% of people whose retirement was based on health reasons.
The researchers say that these days, when people are expected to live many years following the traditional retirement age, steps should be taken to help older workers remain economically active, as long as such steps don't compromise their future health.
However, because increasing numbers of people are living beyond retirement, most Western countries are pushing retirement age higher.
The fact that sleep disturbances tend to decrease after retirement raises the question of whether "the health and well-being of individuals are significantly worse" when they are still working, the researchers write. And that, they say, "presents a great challenge to improve the quality of work life in Western societies in which the cost of the aging population can only be met through an increase in average retirement age."
Vahtera says the study's findings "are largely applicable in situations where financial incentives not to retire are relatively weak."
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