Nandini Voice for The Deprived, a
Chennai based NGO invited the senior citizens to provide the
views on the following subject : “Is joint family system a glory or ruin
of India?”
The objective of the exercise
was to ascertain the views of the cross section of senior citizens about the
continued relevance of joint family system in the present day context and
inform the consensus views of the senior citizens to the society.
The entries of the following senior
citizens were selected for the award:
Mr. Ashok Rajan , Chennai
Mr. K. Nallathambi,
Tiruchengode, Tamil Nadu
Ms. Nirmala Krishnaswamy,
Chennai
Mr. Ganesh .ShankerTripathi,
Noida, Uttar Pradesh
Ms. Sudha Chandrasekaran,
Coimbatore
Mr. L. Ranganathan,
Chennai
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE VIEWS
OF SENIOR CITIZENS ON “IS JOINT FAMILY
SYSTEM A GLORY OR RUIN OF INDIA ?’”
152 senior citizens responded
expressing their views on the subject :
Number of women
participants: 58
Number of men
participants: 94
|
Age above 90
|
Age between
80 to 89
|
Age
between
70 to 79
|
Age between
60 to 69
|
|
2
|
11
|
73
|
66
|
|
|
* Yes
|
*
No
|
*
Yes & No
|
|
Women
|
46
|
5
|
7
|
|
Men
|
71
|
6
|
17
|
* YES
refers to those who approve the concept of joint family, if there would
be appropriate mindset amongst the family members
* NO
refers to those who think that joint family system is undesirable
* YES &
NO refers to those who approve the concept of joint family system
but think that it is not feasible in today’s conditions
Of those who said that the joint
family system would survive ( YES category described above) , 55%
of the participants said that a new system is gradually evolving that
would elegantly combine the merits of the joint family system and the nuclear
family system in the course of time. They are of the view that the basics
of the joint family system is very strong and it is bound to survive in one
form or the other.
The highlights of the views
expressed by the senior citizens on various aspects of the joint family system
are given below:
Is joint family system a glory or
ruin?
Many senior citizens protested about
the title of the competition asking them to comment whether joint family system
is a glory or ruin.
More than 90% of the seniors said
that the joint family concept is unique to India and has been practiced
for centuries with great dignity and cohesion.
The central theme of the joint
family concept is the love and affection as well as respect for
elders and overall pride in the family traditions. These aspects should
be considered as virtues of joint family system, which have brought glory
to India and admiration abroad for the Indian family system.
However, it was recognized that the
joint family system is now facing the threat of extinction due to the
compulsions created by the technology advancements, widespread
educational opportunities and women empowerment.
Many senior citizens said that
the challenge is how to preserve the virtues of the joint family system
in the light of the changing life style.
Changing economic and
social life pattern:
The joint family system was in
vogue in traditional India , where the entire family was focused on
similar line of economic activities such as being involved in agriculture,
trading , government jobs or in providing services etc.
In those days, the sons
largely followed the pattern of profession practiced by the father
. In such situations, it often happened , that the income have to be
necessarily shared by all members of the family to ensure optimization
of the use of resources for the livelihood. This situation
contributed to the inter dependence of the family members.
With the rapid spread of education
and job opportunities , such conditions have undergone sea change in recent
years with sons and daughters taking up jobs in different locations in India
and abroad. In such circumstances, living together in joint family under
one roof is no more possible. Further, with the prevailing pattern of nuclear
families, living together in joint family under one roof is no more an economic
necessity for many persons.
Financial resources :
In the yester years , senior
most member of the family kept the financial resources at his command and
therefore, was recognized as the leader of the family.
However, these days, this
would not happen in many cases , since it is often found that the son ,
daughter or daughter in law earn more money than the parents and grand parents
themselves in many cases.
With the resources not being
controlled by the senior member of the family, the grip on the leadership of
the joint family by the senior inevitably gets diluted. This invariably
weakens the cohesiveness in the joint family system.
Impact of mixed marriages:
With the social equations
changing, inter caste and inter religious marriages often take place
where it may not be possible for the couple to live in the joint family,
due to the difference in the traditional and cultural practices.
Suppressed tensions in the joint
family :
While there are obvious merits of
the joint family system, it is not as if the joint family life has been a
smooth affair for everyone.
In view of the differences in
views and capabilities of the individuals , conflicts of
interest used to arise leading to bickerings in relationship between the family
members. There were many instances when a few family members have not
been even in talking terms for length of time , inspite of living under the
same roof.
The suppressed tension is
conspicuous in several joint families affecting the harmony.
Empowerment of women:
With the increasing educational and
job opportunities for women, it is natural that such women feel empowered and want to lead a life of their
own in the way that they want, instead of being mere “child bearing entities”.
There is a view that in the
traditional joint family system of yester years , women’s freedom and liberty ,
both in thoughts and actions were subjected to the approval of the men folk, which resulted in near destruction of the
personality of women and killing their initiatives. Women were no doubt
respected those days but only in limited context.
With the advantage of
education , job , economic independence, there is reluctance on the part of
women these days to live in joint family , where they cannot
realise their own aspirations and have to subject themselves to the
dictates of joint family compulsions.
The women do not want to be anymore
treated like “glorified servants” in the joint family household .The
approach of such educated and empowered women have been the primary
driving factor towards the desolution of the joint family system.
Character building among children:
With the aging
process that can develop wisdom in individuals, senior citizens are
well positioned to advise and guide the grand children in the formative
age group about the value systems in life and the importance of personal
discipline in attitude and methods.
One of the main reasons attributed
for increasing incidence of violence and sometimes unethical and immoral
conduct amongst the students at the school and college level are attributed to
the absence of the guidance from grand parents, that has happened due to
the collapse of the joint family system.
.Mindset of senior citizens :
It is not as if the joint family
system are desired by all the seniors and disliked by all the younger
generation.
The fact is that many grand parents
also tend to think unconventionally and want to have independent life in their
ripe years , doing what they want to do. They do not want to
be weighed down by the responsibility of looking after the grandchildren and
the households.
While it would certainly be a
pleasure for the grand parents to spend time with the children, they do not
want to be reduced to the level of “glorified servants” by their sons and
daughters, merely looking after the grand children and “guarding”
the household.
Some seniors have pointed out that
they cannot even go on pilgrimage or visits for a length of
time, since the grand children have to be looked after and the households have
to be “guarded”.
Likely future scenario :
With the advancement of
technology and information network and the size of the families becoming
smaller, the traditional joint family system will become out of place in
futuristic society.
With longevity and health conditions
improving , the senior citizens will also like to live independently as long as
possible.
The sons and daughters
stressed by the competitive world , full of challenges and
opportunities and at the same time facing the need to bring
up their children in healthy environment with traditional value system intact,
are likely to long for the virtues of the joint family system and will like to
preserve it to the extent possible in tune with the ground realities.
At the same time, they will
like to have their own independent way of thinking and approach to life and
may tend to politely turn down or ignore the advise of the
seniors if it would contradict their views.
Also , given the present
conditions, the seniors would like to live alone as long as possible till their
health and finances would permit. When they reach a stage , when
the health and finances may not permit independent living, they may find that
they have no alternative other than living with their children. In such
eventuality, the elders have to submit themselves to the situation and should
be careful to ensure that they would not be a source of irritation to the
sons and daughters and even grand children.. They may have to suppress their
own personality to buy peace with those around..
For the elders in such
conditions, the alternative is to go to old age homes which will be no
better.
Emerging family system :
Sacrifice is the strongest
foundation on which joint family system has been built.
If all generations would
realize this, then it would be possible to build a new family
system where the virtues of joint family system would
be preserved and the pitfalls that have emerged due to the changing
life style would be eliminated.
The emerging system is likely to
consist essentially of the people of different generations living apart (in
India or abroad) yet getting the feeling of nearness by
constant communication and frequent visits.
Many senior citizens pointed out
that the emerging system would still be different from the prevailing system in
western countries , where the family system has virtually collapsed beyond
certain age of sons and daughters.
The million dollar question is
as to how the benefits of rearing children in healthy manner , that would
be facilitated by the matured influence of the grand parents,
can be ensured in the emerging system.
N.S.Venkataraman
Trustee
Nandini Voice For The Deprived
M
60/1, 4th Cross Street, Besant Nagar, Chennai-600090
Tele:-
24916037
Email:- nsvenkatchennai@gmail.com
Website
: www.nandinivoice.org
5th May 2012
Copyright: Nandini
Voice For The Deprived & Silver
Inning Foundation
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